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There’s Been A Murder!

I was going through some old files on the laptop, as you do, and I came across this piece I wrote in 2009 when our ‘adorable’ black cat (Sheba) presented us with the grisly remains of a mouse she’d half eaten …

! ! ! B R E A K I N G   N E W S ! ! !

MURDER ROCKS SLEEPY EDMONTON SUBURB

Edmonton Police were on the scene of a vicious crime in a Secord neighbourhood last night. Part of a dismembered body was found in the back yard of the McDowall residence on 216 Street making identification of the victim virtually impossible.  The time of death is believed to have been in the early hours of Tuesday morning, possibly around 7.00am.

Police are not sure if the killing was gang related or the work of one villain and are appealing for witnesses.  Police warn local residents that the killer is still at large and could be living in the neighbourhood.

Normally a quiet cul-de-sac, residents are shocked and sickened by the murder.

Says neighbour Ed, “I can’t believe something as awful as this could happen here, it’s normally so quiet.   I remember seeing what looked like a black shadow hanging around the back yards and then it moved swiftly into the trees out of sight.  They were crouched down very low to the ground and seemed to be keeping very still.  I didn’t get a look at their face unfortunately.  Whoever it was, was acting very suspiciously and seemed to be waiting for something or someone.

The Police have issued a description of the suspect to the public as being short, black and extremely dangerous.

PC Plod, Edmonton West End Division said, “From the wounds on what’s left of the body, we suspect the killer is armed with very sharp knives and would urge the public not to approach anyone they don’t recognise.

A suspect matching the Police description is known to be residing at the premises where the murder took place and was interviewed yesterday morning.  Sheba McDowall says, “Just because I’m short and black doesn’t mean I committed any crime – I’d had my breakfast that morning before I left the house and so wasn’t hungry …”

When pushed for proof of what she had eaten, Ms. McDowall pleaded the Fifth Amendment and refused to say another word until she was in the presence of her lawyer.  It was noted that she has not had a manicure or pedicure for quite some time …

CSI investigators later confirmed that the crime scene had been tampered with, that the body had been moved and therefore vital evidence had been compromised.  The rest of the body was found several metres away from the murder site, just inside the wooded area at the foot of the yard.  Police suspect fowl play, that someone has tried to dispose of the body before detection. There is talk of a cover up possibly by a family member.  So far, the other two people living in the house are refusing to comment.

If you have any helpful information that could lead to the capture of this dangerous criminal, please contact the Police immediately.

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